


A Very Obvious Difference

by Wife



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Bromance, December Spoilers, M/M, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wife/pseuds/Wife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Typical December spoilers</b><br/>The case is over, but there is still a dilemma weighing on Souji's mind and Yosuke is determined to find out what it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Obvious Difference

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't crazy about [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ja5rhsCJ6U) until I realized it was about Souji and Yosuke.

It was one day after climbing the way to the top of Mandala and kicking Adachi's sorry ass back into Inaba. It had been an exhausting experience, emotionally and physically. There were a couple of moments Yosuke had been next to certain that one of his friends was not going to make it, but they joined together and pulled through in the end. Adachi did not even pose much resistance when it was over. The eyeball had been more of a problem than he ever was.

The case had been stressful, emotionally draining, time consuming, frustrating and a lot of other unpleasant feelings he couldn't even begin to describe, but after everything was over and everyone was still standing, there was just a touch of emotion inside of him so relieved - and maybe even sentimental - that he couldn't help but smile lightly after Adachi was out of their hands. The bonds the team had created were deeper relationships that Yosuke had felt with, well, anyone. After dragging himself home that night and laying face down on his futon - all but his shoes still on - he found himself smiling lightly as he drifted to sleep. They were all heros, but even more then that, they were all friends.

Yosuke didn't dream of anything that night. It was probably the best sleep he had gotten since the beginning of September.

It was eventually awoken by his mother yelling for him to get up. Still achy from yesterday's battle, he could only manage to lazily roll over to prove he was awake. He reached for his phone to check the time, only to have the display blocked by a series of text messages. He brighten immediately upon seeing them all. Between the group parting and whatever time it was now it seemed just about everyone had sent out a short message to congratulate their hard work. He was momentarily surprised to find even Naoto had bothered to send out a mass text message to the group:

"GREAT JOB TEAM"

How sweet.

Yosuke thumbed in a hasty reply with a big, goofy grin over his face. Finally, he had a group of friends who saw him as more than a meal ticket. People he cared about more than anyone else. He would even admit to being a _tiny_ bit excited about starting school next year because...

It hit him that there wasn't going to _be_ a next year for their leader. Come the end of March Souji was heading back to the city. Yosuke watched idly as his cell flickered the sending animation repeatedly across its screen. He closed his eyes briefly and sighed; it wasn't time to be thinking about that now. Though, his mind did stay on the subject of Souji. The mass of messages in his inbox was missing one important sender: Mr. Seta himself. His partner may not have been one to send out messages unprompted, but this seemed like something he would reply to. His brow furrowed, aided by his cell's sending window disappearing and time replacing it: Late afternoon. Souji was probably already out and about for the day, so he decided to forget about it and check up on him later.

A few days later Souji still hadn't made contact with the team however. During school they'd see him, but after he would dart off before they could get a hold of him. He worked several jobs, _sure_ , and he had other friends, as well as some weird hobbies, but it still struck Yosuke as weird. Never the less, he assured the rest of the team, and himself, that it was fine. The world hadn't stopped turning just because they defeated some mythological fog god. Their leader most assuredly had outstanding obligations.

Despite what he said, Yosuke ended up at Souji's house sometime later with a Junes bag of drinks. For whatever reason he was never able to shake the ill feelings that came from Souji's unresponsiveness. The two had become pretty close over the last few months, so even though Seta could have made a living off of poker tournaments, this friend was still able to pick up that he'd been tense lately. Well, _no shit_ with his Uncle and cousin in the hospital, but then logic had never been Yosuke's strong point. For him, it was the way Souji carried himself that gave him away.

It started in the TV world when they were in Heaven, though Yosuke couldn't quite remember when he first noticed. It was something about the way Souji's actions had been rougher and less guarded. At the start of each new level, or at the end of a hard battle, he would crack his neck this certain way, one that looked almost painful. He never got the idea that their leader was doing it intentionally. From what Yosuke could pick up on it seemed more like he would repeatedly overlook the action and accidentally apply a bit to much pressure on his neck. He couldn't be blamed with the equivalent to his sister on the line, of course, it was just a bit scary to know that he wasn't completely untouchable.

At the end of the day, with how much Yosuke depended on Souji to be a pillar of unparalleled support, it would be wrong to ignore his suspicions that his partner needed a hand. Souji reluctance to share when he was down was all the more reason for Hanamura to take the initiative. _"He's probably fine though - why wouldn't he be? The case is over now. Stop worrying about it."_ Yosuke told himself, one more time. He almost believed it too.

It took several vicious knockings to get Souji to finally open the door. Yosuke had been kind enough to text him before hand, but similarly with the team messages, there had not been a response. His worries softened when the door meekly opened and Souji was in the doorway facing him. He looked normal - at first anyways.

His smile faded as he evaluated the face of his friend. A strained expression in his eyes booted his assumption of well-being right out the window. When the door first opened, Souji looked pretty hollow, but his expression drooped heavier the longer he faces Yosuke. It was far beyond the impassive one he usually wore. The guy looked tired, though otherwise Yosuke supposed that at least physically he seemed okay. Though the blanket uncharacteristically draped around his shoulders, not unlike an old woman's shall, was a little unsettling. It wasn't like he'd been when Nanako was kidnapped, at least, but- what was the matter with him? They'd won, right? What else was there?

It seemed to take Souji a moment to recognize he needed to respond. "Oh, hey Yosuke." He managed finally, opening up the door further, but not so much for the guest to come in. One of his hands shot up to straighten his hair, "Is something the matter?"

"Well, aside from not answering anyone's texts and being busy all the time, not really." he laughed. It sounded forced even to him, "I just wanted to check to see you didn't keel over from exhaustion or something."

Souji took in a breath, "Oh, right, sorry. I've been," he sighed, "sleeping."

It didn't exactly look like it. Souji's face had evened into something more neutral, but it couldn't mask the circles under his eyes. Yosuke lifted his eyebrows at the statement, but Souji didn't seem to notice. They stood there in the doorway for a minute, Yosuke staring at his friend while he spaced out with his eyes hooked to ground. The silence was unspeakably annoying. "Can I come in?" Yosuke tried, holding up his plastic bag of offerings. That seemed to jolt Souji back into reality and he hastily complied. 

They sat on couch with their drinks in hand and the television on. Any attempt to start a conversation fizzed out. All Souji would give him were one word responses. Yosuke couldn't concentrate on what they were watching either. It was one of those really long infomercials with a guy who's toupee wasn't fooling anyone. He would glance over at Souji to make sure he was still conscious every now and again, see that he was, and then take a sip of his drink. This continued until the can was empty and Yosuke was left to his antsy self.

"I'm a little bit thirsty." He stated, even though it was a complete lie, "Do you think I could have something else to drink?"

Souji didn't look away from the programming. Was it possible he was actually interested? "Help yourself." He replied and Yosuke lazily got up and headed for the kitchen. What he found was not exciting.

The fridge was almost empty. Only a few small bowls of what looked like leftovers, a bottle of pickled vegetables, some soy sauce and half a dozen beer bottles remained. Even the miscellaneous condiments in the side door had been picked through. Yosuke could feel his stomach turn. Souji had some weird eating habits.

Still looking for something to do, he closed the appliance's door part way and glanced back at Souji. "Do you want me to step out and get something? There is just beer in here."

That caught Souji's attention, but he took a long time to respond. The hallow expression creeped back out as he considered his words, "That's fine. It's too cold to go out anyways."

It took Yosuke a moment to process what he was hearing. "Beer is fine?"

"Yeah, you are welcome to it."

Yosuke wanted to shout at him then. " _Stop moping, it's done! Your family is stable, or did you forget?" "If anyone should be looking on the positive side of things it's you." "I'm so glad the others aren't hear to see you look this_ pathetic _."_ He was able to contain himself, by some miracle. There was something about the way his friend looked that stopped him. Still a bit miffed he ended up actually taking two bottles out, trying to forget the fact they belonged to a police officer.

Yosuke plopped himself in the space between Dojima's table and couch with one a beer in hand. The other was placed within Souji's reach, but he didn't take any interest in it. Yosuke sighed lightly and laid his head back. What would Souji - or a person of his caliber - do to restore someone's positivity in a situation like this? He took a swing of the beer - _oh, god this is terrible!_ \- cringed, looked up at his partner, and then back at the TV. Rinse, and repeat. The liquid tasted like carbonated water that someone had pissed in, but he drank it anyways. Towards the end of the bottle it barely registered on his pallet. He glanced at Souji again, who he hadn't touched his beverage yet. Yosuke suspected he wouldn't.

He fidgeted closer to the other male, but Souji was still outwardly zoned out. It wasn't until Yosuke bottomed his beer that Souji picked up on him. His eyebrows raised, either from from seeing his friend down something alcoholic or surprise from coming back from space too quickly.

"You're drinking it too quickly. I'll make yourself sick." He commented. His tone made Yosuke grimace. It was the voice he took on when talking to people he just met, teachers and small children: the voice of his super chill "persona" - if you didn't mind the terminology. Yosuke held the other's eyes for a moment, but the only response he gave was reaching over, grabbing the beer meant for Souji and pulling it up to his lips. His partner gave a small frowned and turned back to the TV. Yosuke took a extra big gulp despite him. 

After recovering from the swig, Yosuke choose to take the problem on directly. After one and a half beers, he could feel his inhibitions floating away. Though a part of him wondered if it was just a placebo effect and not actually the alcohol.

"Is there something wrong partner?" More like, _what the fuck is wrong_ , but he didn't want to go there quite yet.

Souji didn't reply - per say. His stoic expression flickered just slightly, but that was the only response Yosuke needed. He turned, so he was facing the other, and set his elbow on the couch to prop up his head. Nothing came to mind for what the problem was except for the empty house. Being lonely was the _pits_ and he knew it first hand, but the residence had been like this for a few weeks now. Why get so glum when the case was over and truth was realized?

Yosuke figured it was the only possibility though, "You know it's fine..." He paused, thinking it over, but there wasn't any stopping himself now. Souji was looking at him with what appeared to be mild interest, "Nanako and Dojima are doing really well right now. You don't have to worry."

Souji shut down at the mention of his family. He smiled, sure, but it was completely empty. A gesture of a person who was hurt by someone's good intentions and did not want to show it. Yosuke hated that smile. It did not suit Souji in the slightest, and even worse, it held a new wave lost. He hadn't picked the right cord, but he had certainly struck one.

Yosuke was utterly helpless in the situation and yet he could not let it go. If he did, he would loose the opportunity. It would become just another distant burden Souji carried alone - which the other male could only assume would eventually end in a brain aneurysm. And, selfishly, he couldn't help but see it as a wedge to drive them apart.

This was the guy he was closest to. More then that, he was unarguably the closest friend Yosuke had ever had. His guard was killer though and the only part of him that Yosuke couldn't stand. It had slacked over his time here, undeniably, but that window was drawing to a close. He looked to his friend, who was looking away, and his frustration hit him harder than ever.

What Yosuke had intended to simply think came spilling out of him, "It's not like we'll just forget you, you know, so you don't have to be such an _asshole_ just because you're going to leave."

Saying it, while filled with such spite, filled the bottom of Yosuke's stomach with immediate remorse. He regret it as soon as it came out of him. He'd yelled at Souji, sure - plenty of times even - but at least it'd been almost justifiable. Saying something like that at a time like this was kicking a downed man. It was low, so low Yosuke couldn't even look at his partner.

Or - wait. Maybe that was because he was feeling light-headed. Yosuke doubled over, the sick emotion in his stomach was turning unexpectedly. The guilt in the pit of him melted into a more pungent sensation. One that the teenager couldn't keep down. All too soon, something else entirely spilled out of him.

\----

Suddenly the passage of time became muddled blur. Having not actually ingested that much alcohol, Yosuke would later decide it was because his mind was kind enough to block out whatever reaction Souji had. When his consciousness finally picked up he was horizontal on the couch with Souji's blanket thrown haphazardly over his midsection. Not immediately seeing his host he rolled lightly towards the table, only to have his eyes fall on a splotch of watery puke that was most assuredly his. Yosuke groaned and averted his gaze, picking up Souji's figure in the process. He was slumped over the sink, one hand on the counter to brace himself and the other pouring the last bit of Yosuke's beverage down the drain. Yosuke brought his arm up to cover his face. He didn't want to see his friend like that, especially not after throwing up on... him? The floor? Himself? All of the above? It was better not to try and conjure the details.

Here he had come to see if Souji was alright and had just made things worse. Think you're in a terrible state of mind? Well folks just let ol' mood-killer Hanamura take a crack at your well-being and I am sure things will look way better the way they were before. He thumped his head against the back of the couch.

"I'm _so_ sorry Partner," Yosuke griped, staring into the darkness the crook of his elbow provided, "I'll- clean it up." Any wiggle of his head caused the room to start spinning, but the whole drunk thing couldn't last forever. Hopefully the bile wouldn't stain by the time he could get to it.

Souji let out an clear snort before shaking out the last drops of alcohol from its bottle, "You better."

It was his tone that caused Yosuke to lift his arm and look. His voice, this time, sounded more like himself. His true self too, not his cool-headed _persona_ that everyone knew so well. It was the voice he took when they were alone together - on the floodplain or up in his room - real and a little snarky to go with his ultra-dry sense of humor. He was back, it seemed. Yosuke considered throwing up on him more often.

Once the beer bottles had been placed by the trash Souji headed back over to the couch. Yosuke scooted up - or at least tried to - in order to make room for him, but ended up barely keeping himself vertical when his vision took a severe swing. He wasn't able to raise his head, but he could totally tell Souji was laughing at him. His partner's hand helped him get settled upright against the back of the couch, before its owner seated himself down beside him. The two sat there, for a little while, in silence. Typically Yosuke could not stand this sort of pause in conversation, but he did not want to hurt Souji anymore with whatever whim came to his mind. His thoughts were not well filtered when he was sober, so he figured it was best to just shut it for as long as he could bear. At the very least, it wasn't as awkward as before. Plus that infomercial was finally over.

But in the end, surprising, Souji was the one to break the silence.

"You were right, by the way." He stated, keeping his gaze straight ahead. The voice was still very much Souji, if only a bit forced and raw. The words were said like they had been thought over a couple dozen times over before becoming audible. If only Yosuke knew what he was talking about. It was embarrassing to admit, but he couldn't actually evoke a moment were he had been right and Souji hadn't. His head flopped over onto his partner's shoulder as he tried to grasp what that had meant. His drunken stare was met by Souji out of the side of his gray eye. For whatever reason, seeing him caused the sober goon to smiled. He looked happy enough just to leave it at that, but Yosuke wouldn't let him.

"....About?" The word was drawn out for no purposeful reason. His mouth was not responding well.

Souji shifted slightly to get a good look at Yosuke. His breath rustled the other's bangs as he snorted again, "You're not patronizing me, are you?"

"What?" No! I just don't follow you." Yosuke mumbled, his temple right on Souji's deltoid. Souji continued to smile, but didn't say anything more about it, choosing instead to rejoin his staring contest with the wall. Yosuke racked his memory for what he had been talking about before making a complete mess of himself.

"About... Dojima and Nanako?" He tired. Souji's expression faltered; another point of mood-killer Hanamura. Still, he didn't want to stop the conversation _Souji_ had started. After an agonizing, internal recap of him downing two beers, Yosuke thought he finally found it.

"Are you," He started hopefully, moving his chin onto Souji's shoulder, "worried about leaving?'

It was almost surreal, seeing Souji's face soften as it did. He looked like someone who had just walked in on a surprise party that they already knew was happening. Happy, but apologetic at the same time.

It took him a second to gather himself. Even when he did start speaking, it was agonizingly slow, "Dojima, even Nanako... I believe for the time being," He stopped, so unsteady in this new territory. His eyes closed as he attempted to get a hold of what he was feeling, "they'll recover from this. The thing that I can't stand thinking about is not directly being a part of their lives anymore. This is the first time I've ever cared about something so much." His eyebrows raised slightly before contracting even further and his head swiveled away from his teammate, "Honestly, it's hard to think about leaving anything in Inaba."

It was both the most selfish thing Yosuke had ever heard from Souji and the least greedy thing you could ask of the situation he was in. It would have been funny if the he hadn't been so serious about it. "We still have some time." Yosuke offered, and Souji graced him with a look his way.

"You're right, again." He stopped to smirk, "Is this a new record or something?"

Yosuke responded by punching him weakly in the arm. Souji pretended not to notice, "You are right though. And we'll make the most of it. It just sort of hit me now, which is awful in itself, since we should be celebrating the case ending."

They sat in silence a minute more, Souji's open expression fading every second. His partner did not want it to let it die just yet however, "Ask them to let you stay." Yosuke tired, but Souji waved the suggestion away.

"I couldn't." And that was that. His head turned away, signaling it was over, but Yosuke couldn't stand for that. It was almost enraging to see his closest friend pass up on something he wanted, something that everyone around him wanted, something that was grave enough to effect the world's most unmovable person. He had wanted to pull on Souji's shirt - jerk him back towards him - but in his stillness Yosuke had forgotten how the alcohol was effecting him. He misplaced his weight when he attempted to pull Souji his way and the resulting force sent Yosuke's face slamming into the side of Souji's. This did, in fact, cause Souji to turn back. He attempted to steady Yosuke by pushing back on his shoulders, but the other was too far forward at that point and all of a sudden he was top of of Souji. Only their legs were left hanging awkwardly over the side of the couch.

"Yosuke I didn't know you felt this way." Souji deadpanned. Yosuke was hiding in the crook of his neck, his face flat against the couch. The movement had caused the world to start spinning, plus his nose hurt something fierce, so replying was a bit of a struggle.

"I will throw up on you again. Don't test me." He muttered without the will to try a physical response. Souji laughed and slid his arms over Yosuke's shoulders to rub his back. If not for how nice it felt he might have objected.

The two stayed put for a while afterwards without speaking. Yosuke drifted in and out of sleep during the period. He awoke once to Souji lifting his feet onto the sofa and shifting to get more comfortable. By that time Yosuke had sobered up, but he decided to squeeze one more thing in while he had the beer as an excuse.

"I _really_ wish you could stay partner." Yosuke whispered against Souji's ear, not raising his head.

"Yeah," He agreed, eyes still closed, "me too." But it was the last he ever spoke of it.


End file.
